Welcome to the first installment of a new series at
The Leveret, one that celebrates male mutual masturbation: the simultaneous act of masturbation between two or more men — whether that involves pleasuring each other or themselves. Those who participate in this activity sometimes refer to themselves as “jack-off buddies” or “j/o buddies.”
A jack-off buddy can be a friend or stranger. Although often associated with gay males, a jack off buddy relationship or encounter can also be between two or more straight men. While some buddies masturbate together while watching porn, others don’t choose or require this particular arousal aid. Some buddies engage in mutual masturbation while others prefer to keep their hand/s to themselves. When more than two men masturbate together they might choose to engage in what’s called a “circle jerk,” a practice in which a group of men or boys form a circle and masturbate themselves or each other.
A circle jerk will often feature a competitive element, with the “winner” being the participant able to ejaculate first, last, or farthest depending on the pre-established rules. Like other forms of jack off buddy arrangements and situations, a circle jerk can serve as an introduction to sexual relations with other males, or as a sexual outlet at an age or situation when regular sexual activity with another person is not possible.
The Leveret’s “Buddies” series will include images found online of jack-off buddies accompanied by excerpts from various writings about the sexual practice of mutual masturbation. In this first installment I share an excerpt from John Sherman’s recent
BuzzFeed article, “
Why Some Guys Like Jerking Off Together.”
Enjoy!
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Among men who have sex with men, mutual masturbation is often seen as sex-adjacent, rather than a sex act in its own right. In some cases, this is a heterosexual fig leaf (“It’s not sex, we’re
just being dudes”); in others, it’s treated as an hors d’oeuvre. More than one friend has told me about engaging in mutual masturbation as a sort of compromise in a disappointing hookup situation, as in, “I went home with him but I was tired, so we just jerked off.” But for many men, myself included, mutual masturbation is not merely the “I’m not really hungry; I’ll just have a salad” of sex; rather, it’s an experience to be sought for its own sake.
I’ve had a regular
IRL j/o buddy for about a year and a half, a gay friend in an open relationship whom I’d known for a few years before either of us broached the subject of jerking off together. Now we get together every few months — less regularly than a book club but more often than you see your best friend from college who lives in Washington Heights — hang out, and masturbate. It’s friendly in a way most casual sex is not, or rarely is — a flavor of intimacy both platonic and horny. Sometimes we get a little stoned, sometimes we watch porn; afterward we usually catch up about friends or jobs or other plans. It’s like going to dinner. We’ve gotten closer over time, which is somehow both a result of the sex and nothing to do with it.
NEXT: Part II
See also the previous posts:
• Rethinking the “Normal” Penis (Part I)
• Rethinking the “Normal” Penis (Part II)
• Reaching Out
• A Means of Making Contact
• Not a Weapon or a Mere Tool
• Phallus
• Penis
• Hard
• Soft
