Cock Rock

In his "Salute to the Greatest Crotches in Rock," Morgan Short notes that "the crotches of rock singers have captivated the imagination of the world" for years.

As "an embodiment of the mystery, danger and freedom of the music itself," writes Short, "the crotch has occupied a central role in a stirring rock performance."

Continuing, he notes:

Of course, the crotch today remains a valuable weapon in the rock arsenal, as exemplified by the current wave of tight pants bands rehashing the Kinks/The Who sound of the 60s and 70s. More and more women are also mobilizing their crotches as well for the good of the rock. Take Peaches, for example. In recent years, the famed Electroclash chanteuse has turned her crotch into something of a cottage industry for photos, song lyrics and album covers.

His "salute," however, focuses on "elder statesmen and women of rock; those who burned bright, burned big and then (mostly) wilted away." Yet "whether by physical presentation, stylistic innovation or a certain ineffable spirituality," the crotches of those highlighted "will always live on in the hearts of the fans."

Top of the list is Led Zepplin's Robert Plant, who elsewhere on the web is described as the "Definitive Bulge of Rock and Roll."

"The crotch of Robert Plant," writes Short, "should be considered the fifth instrument of Zeppelin. For stripping away all ambiguity as to the proportions, dimensions and angles of his package, Robert Plant is a true innovator. On stage he may have been singing 'Kashmir,' 'All My Love,' and 'Ramble On,' but implicitly he was whispering gingerly into your ear, 'Here is the outline of my penis.'

Others highlighted in Short's "Salute to the Greatest Crotches in Rock" include Freddie Mercury, Iggy Pop, Bon Scott, Jim Morrison, Axel Rose, Prince, David Bowie, Courtney Love, and David Lee Roth.

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