Tattoo You

Tattoos definitely suit some guys (as the images accompanying this post attest) but the Rev. Peter Mullen’s recent idea of certain types of tattoos for homosexuals is just plain wacky.

Thankfully, the Gay and Lesbian Review puts the Reverend’s proposal into perspective.

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Understandable outrage erupted when the chaplain to the London Stock Exchange, Rev Peter Mullen, declared on his blog: “It’s time that religious believers began to recommend . . . discouragements of homosexual practices after the style of warnings on cigarettes packets. Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS.”

Petting aside the medieval absurdity of the Reverend’s suggestion, not to mention the matter of his sanity, the proposal seemed oddly illogical even on its own terms. There’s the obvious fact that fellatio is often performed by a woman upon her male sex partner, who might even be her husband, so unless the reverend is on a war against fellatio itself (which is quite possible), he may want to rethink the whole “fellatio kills” idea.

Furthermore, there seems to be a design flaw in the proposed warning labels, both of which appear next to an orifice that could be penetrated by a male phallus whose owner is the supposed target of these messages. As it happens, the “top” in either of these sex acts is almost never the party at risk of infection or other harm; surely he should be the one bearing these dire tattoos next to that occasional disseminator of ills. But if health is the concern, and not just morality, then it hardly makes sense to restrict the tattooing to gay men; nor would the Reverend be the first to suggest that the male generative organ should come with a warning label.

- The Gay and Lesbian Review
January-February 2009