"Don’t Fence Me In"

The following is excerpted from poet and essayist Thomas March’s review of Cathy Crimmins’ book, How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization.

_________________________

The only thing inherently gay about any of my tastes is that I require – I insist – that the person I am dating be male. As soon as we insist that a behavior or a taste or an attitude is inherently “gay,” we’re implying that it’s unavailable for a straight man to accept as part of his system of sensibilities. Establishing such a barrier restricts gay men, too – and promotes the same kind of thinking that reinforces negative stereotypes, not just the lovely myth of the well-groomed gay man.

Early in [her] book, Crimmins tells a story about shopping with her daughter and a gay teenage boy who finds her daughter a beautiful dress and then remarks about himself that he “fulfilled [his] function as a gay man.” He laughed, and I hope he really was being ironic. It looks like that kid could make a great personal shopper or have a very successful career in fashion. And good for him, if that’s what he wants. But there are many ways to fulfill one’s function as a gay man. We’re cops and construction workers, too; we don’t just dress up like them. A gay kid needs to know that if he wants to, he can be a good gay man without always helping people pick out clothes. As we’ve learned, it might be hard to be a gay cowboy, but the first step is to say, “Don’t fence me in.”

– Thomas March (The Gay and Lesbian Review, May-June, 2006)